What to say when a customer asks for a refund in DMs
A refund request in the DMs is a test of your business in front of one person, and sometimes in front of everyone they tell. The first reply sets the tone. It should be quick, calm and specific, even when the answer is no. This guide covers replies for the common refund situations, a simple process to follow every time, a worked example, and how to set up an AI agent so it collects the details while a person makes the decision.
The short answer
Reply fast, acknowledge the problem in one sentence, ask for the one detail you need (usually the order number and a photo), and say exactly what happens next and when. Decide the refund itself as a person, using your written policy.
Replies you can adapt
Change the details to match your business. Names, prices and times are examples.
| When | Reply |
|---|---|
| First reply | I am sorry the order was not right. Could you send your order number and a photo of the problem? I will look into it today. |
| Within your policy | Thanks for the photos. You are within our 30-day returns window, so I have started a full refund. It should reach your card in 3 to 5 working days. |
| Outside your policy | Thank you for explaining. The order is outside our 30-day window, so I cannot refund it, but I can offer a replacement at half price. Would that help? |
| They are angry | I understand why you are frustrated, and I want to put it right. I have passed this to our manager, Sara, who will message you by 5pm today. |
| The parcel has not arrived | I am sorry it has not arrived yet. Could you send your order number? I will check the tracking now and tell you what is happening by the end of today. |
| You sent the wrong item | I am so sorry, that is our mistake. I will send the right item today at no cost, and I will include a returns label for the wrong one. |
| They changed their mind | No problem. Unused items can be returned within 30 days for a refund. Here is how to send it back: [link]. I will confirm as soon as it arrives. |
| The refund has not reached them | Thanks for checking. The refund was sent on 3 November, and banks can take up to 5 working days. If it has not arrived by Friday, message me and I will chase it. |
| A partial refund is fair | Thank you for the photos. One of the four glasses was broken, so I have refunded £6 for that glass. I am sorry it arrived damaged. |
What to avoid
- Arguing about whose fault it is in the first reply.
- Copy-pasting your whole terms and conditions.
- Promising a refund before you have checked the order.
- Moving the conversation to email without saying why.
What to tell your AI agent
- Let it send the first reply and collect the order number and photos.
- Give it your returns policy in plain words so it can explain it.
- Tell it never to promise or refuse a refund itself.
- Tell it to hand the chat to a named person with a time they will reply by.
When a person should take over
- Every decision to refund, replace or refuse.
- Customers who are angry or mention a review or a complaint body.
- Anything involving safety, injury or damage.
A simple process for every refund request
Refunds go wrong when each one is handled differently. A short, fixed process keeps you fair and calm, and it makes it easy to share the work with an AI agent and your team.
- Acknowledge. Reply within the hour during opening hours, say sorry for the problem and show you understand it.
- Collect. Ask for the order number, the date, and a photo if something is damaged or wrong.
- Check. Look up the order, the delivery and your policy before you say anything about the outcome.
- Decide. A person decides whether to refund, replace, repair or refuse, using your written policy.
- Confirm. Tell the customer what you decided, what happens next and when, in one short message.
- Close. Once the money or item arrives, check they are happy and note what went wrong so it happens less often.
An AI agent can do the first two steps well, at any hour. Steps three to six belong to a person, although the agent can send the confirmation once you have approved the wording.
A worked example
This is an Instagram conversation for a small candle shop. The AI agent sends the first replies, and the owner, Priya, takes over to decide. Names and details are examples.
| Who | Message |
|---|---|
| Customer | My candle arrived cracked and wax everywhere. Not happy. I want a refund. |
| AI agent | I am really sorry, that is not how it should arrive. Could you send your order number and a photo of the candle and the box? Priya will look at it today. |
| Customer | Order 4471. [two photos] |
| AI agent | Thank you, that is everything we need. Priya will reply by 4pm today with what we can do. |
| Priya | Hi, Priya here. I am so sorry about this. I have refunded the £24 for the candle to your card, and I am sending a replacement as a thank you for your patience. It will go out tomorrow. |
| Customer | Oh that is really kind, thank you. |
| Priya | You are welcome. I will send you the tracking link tomorrow. |
The agent never promised a refund. It collected what Priya needed, gave a time and stepped back. Priya made the decision and the customer left happy.
Write your refund policy in plain words
Your terms and conditions are for legal clarity. Customers and AI agents need a short, plain version. Check your legal duties for where you trade, then write the everyday rules in a few lines like the example below.
Refund notes for the AI agent
- Unused items: return within 30 days for a full refund. Customer pays return postage unless the item is faulty.
- Faulty or damaged on arrival: ask for the order number and a photo. A person decides refund or replacement.
- Wrong item sent: apologise, ask for the order number, say a person will arrange the right item today.
- Not arrived after 7 working days: ask for the order number and say a person will check the tracking.
- Personalised items: cannot be returned unless faulty.
Always:
- Reply within the hour in opening hours.
- Never promise, refuse or work out a refund yourself.
- Hand the chat to Sara with the order number, photos and a summary.
- Tell the customer Sara will reply by a set time today, or by 10am the next working day.Refunds by channel
| Channel | What to keep in mind |
|---|---|
| Customers send photos easily, so ask for them in the first reply. Keep messages short. | |
| Some customers are also followers who may comment publicly. A quick, kind reply in the DMs helps keep it private. | |
| Messenger | Requests often come through your Facebook Page. Reply in the chat and keep the details there. |
| Useful when you need a written record or long details. Confirm in the original chat that you have sent an email. |
If this happens, do this
| If | Do this |
|---|---|
| The customer sends no photo | Ask once more, kindly. If they cannot, a person decides based on what they describe. |
| The order is not in your system | Ask for the name, email and date used to order. Pass it to a person if you still cannot find it. |
| They say they will leave a bad review | Stay calm, do not argue and hand it to a person straight away. |
| They ask for a refund and to keep the item | A person decides. For low-cost items this is often simpler than a return. |
| They have already opened a dispute with their bank | Pass it to a person, who should handle it through the payment provider. |
Common mistakes
- Letting the agent say "you will get a full refund" before anyone has checked the order.
- Different answers from different people on your team, which customers notice.
- Going silent while you investigate. A short update is better than no reply.
- Not keeping the photos and messages, which you may need later.
- Treating every refund as a loss. A fair refund handled well often brings the customer back.
Sum up and next step
Reply quickly, say sorry for the problem, collect the order number and a photo, and say exactly when a person will reply. Keep every refund decision with a person who works from a short, written policy.
With Spaces, your AI agent can send those first replies on WhatsApp, Instagram and Messenger from your own accounts, and hand the chat to your team when it needs a decision.
Pricing
FAQ
Can an AI agent issue refunds?
It could if connected to your payment tool, but most owners keep the decision with a person and let the agent collect the details. Refunds involve money and judgement, and a wrong promise is hard to take back.
How fast should I reply to a refund request?
Within the hour during opening hours. A quick first reply that says what happens next matters more than a fast decision. Outside opening hours, an AI agent can acknowledge it and say when a person will reply.
Should I move refunds to email?
Only if you need a written record. Say why, and reply in the DMs to confirm. Moving channels without explanation can feel like you are avoiding the customer.
What should the first reply always include?
A short apology for the problem, a request for the order number and a photo if relevant, and a time by which you will reply. Leave out anything about the outcome until you have checked.
What if the customer is clearly wrong?
You can still be kind. Explain your policy in one or two plain sentences and, if you can, offer something that helps, such as a replacement at a lower price. Avoid debating who is at fault.
Should I offer a refund or a replacement?
Ask the customer what they would prefer when it is your mistake. Some want their money back and others just want the item. Write down which options you offer so your team and your agent stay consistent.
Do I need to keep a record of refund chats?
It is sensible to keep the messages and photos for each refund. They help if there is a dispute later and show you which problems happen most often.