How to reply to a bad review that also arrives by DM
Some unhappy customers do two things at once. They leave a one-star review where everyone can see it, and they send you a direct message saying the same thing, sometimes more angrily. It is tempting to answer both in the same breath, or to answer neither while you calm down. Neither works well. The public reply is for everyone who reads your reviews; the private reply is for the person. This guide explains how to handle the two together, gives wording for both, walks through a worked example, and explains why your AI agent should step aside for this kind of conversation.
The short answer
Reply to the DM first, as a person, because that is where you can actually fix the problem. Then post a short, calm public reply to the review that acknowledges it and says you have been in touch privately. Never argue in public, never share the customer's details, and never ask them to remove the review as a condition of putting things right.
Replies you can adapt
Change the details to match your business. Names, prices and times are examples.
| When | Reply |
|---|---|
| First DM reply | Hi Daniel, thank you for telling me directly. I am sorry your order arrived damaged. I would like to put this right today. Could you send a photo of the box and the item? |
| Public reply to the review | Thank you for your feedback, Daniel. I am sorry the order did not arrive as it should. I have messaged you directly so we can put it right. |
| When you need time to check | Thank you for your message. I want to look into this properly before I reply in full. I will come back to you by 3pm today. |
| Offering a fix | I am sorry again. I can send a replacement today by tracked delivery, or give you a full refund. Which would you prefer? |
| When the review has facts wrong | Thank you for your review. We cannot find a booking under this name on that date, and we would like to understand what happened. Please message us so we can look into it. |
| After the problem is fixed | Thank you for letting us put this right, Daniel. If you feel your review no longer reflects your experience, you are welcome to update it, but there is no obligation at all. |
| They threaten more reviews | I understand you are upset, and I want to help. The quickest way is for us to sort this out here. Could you tell me what would put it right for you? |
| They are abusive | I want to help, and I can do that best when we keep things calm. I will reply to your questions about the order here, and I will not respond to personal insults. |
| They do not reply to your DM | Hi Daniel, just checking you saw my message. The offer of a replacement or refund still stands whenever you are ready. |
What to avoid
- Arguing with the customer in the public reply. Other readers judge you by your tone, not by who was right.
- Copying the same reply into the review and the DM. The public one should be short; the private one should solve the problem.
- Sharing order numbers, addresses or anything personal in public.
- Asking the customer to delete the review in return for a refund or a discount. Many review sites do not allow it, and it looks bad if it comes out.
- Letting an AI agent reply to either. An angry customer who gets an automated reply often becomes angrier.
What to tell your AI agent
- Tell it to stop and hand the chat to a person as soon as a message mentions a review, a complaint or a refund.
- Give it a short holding reply to send first if you are not available straight away.
- Tell it never to apologise for specific facts, offer money or promise anything in these chats.
- Tell it never to mention the review or the customer's other messages unless the customer does.
- Ask it to hold replies as drafts if you want to read every message before it goes out.
When a person should take over
- Every reply to the review itself.
- Every reply in the DM after the first holding message.
- Any decision about refunds, replacements or compensation.
Why the DM comes first
A review is a public statement. A DM is an open door. When a customer messages you as well as reviewing you, they are telling you they still want something from you, usually an apology and a fix. That is a much better position than a review with no contact at all.
Start where you can solve the problem. A quick, human reply in the DM shows the customer you are taking them seriously. Once you know the facts and have offered something, the public reply becomes easy to write, because you can honestly say you are already in touch.
Do not leave the review for days, though. People reading your reviews notice when a complaint has no answer. Aim to post a short public reply the same day, even if the private conversation is still going.
Public reply and private reply side by side
| Public reply to the review | Private reply in the DM |
|---|---|
| Two or three sentences. | As long as it needs to be to solve the problem. |
| Thanks them and says sorry for the experience. | Says sorry for the specific problem. |
| Says you have been in touch privately. | Asks for the details you need, such as a photo or order date. |
| No personal details, no blame. | Offers a clear fix with a choice where possible. |
| Written for future customers reading it. | Written for this one person. |
Keep the public reply calm even if the review is unfair. You can politely correct a fact, such as "we do not offer that service", but leave the full story for the private chat.
A worked example
A customer of a small homeware shop leaves a one-star review saying a lamp arrived broken, then sends an Instagram DM. The owner's AI agent sees the DM first, sends the holding reply and hands the chat to the owner. Names and details are examples.
| Who | Message |
|---|---|
| Customer, 9.12am | Lamp arrived smashed. Left you a review. Not impressed at all. |
| Business, 9.12am | I am really sorry to hear that. I have passed your message to the owner, who will reply personally within the hour. |
| Owner, 9.40am | Hi Sophie, this is Ana, the owner. I am so sorry the lamp arrived broken. Could you send me a photo of it and the box? I would like to sort this out today. |
| Customer, 9.52am | [Photo] Here. Box was squashed too. |
| Owner, 9.58am | Thank you, that is clearly damage in transit. I can send a new lamp today with extra packing, or refund you in full. Which would you prefer? |
| Customer, 10.05am | New one please |
| Owner, 10.07am | Of course. It will go out this afternoon and should arrive tomorrow. No need to send the broken one back. I am sorry again. |
At 10.15am Ana posts a public reply: "Thank you for letting us know, Sophie. I am sorry the lamp arrived damaged. We have been in touch and a replacement is on its way." She does not mention the refund option, the courier or the customer's address. The next day Sophie updates her review without being asked.
Keep your AI agent out of complaints
An AI agent is very good at answering routine questions quickly. It is the wrong tool for a customer who is already upset. The safest setup is a holding reply and an immediate hand-over to you.
Complaints and reviews
If a message mentions a review, a complaint, a refund, damage, or sounds angry:
1. Reply once: "I am really sorry to hear that. I have passed your message to the owner, who will reply personally within the hour."
2. After closing time, say "first thing tomorrow morning" instead of "within the hour".
3. Hand the chat to a person. Send nothing else.
Never:
- Apologise for specific facts or admit fault.
- Offer a refund, discount or replacement.
- Mention the review unless the customer does.In Spaces, handing a chat to a person keeps the agent out of that conversation until you hand it back. If you want to read everything before it is sent, ask your AI agent to hold replies as drafts, and nothing goes out until you approve it. Spaces handles the messages; the public reply on the review site is something you write yourself on that site.
If this happens, do this
| If the customer | Do this |
|---|---|
| Reviews but never replies to your DM | Post your public reply, send one friendly follow-up in the DM, then leave it. |
| Posts the same complaint in comments too | Reply once publicly with the same short message and keep the detail in the DM. |
| Is not actually your customer | Reply publicly that you cannot find their booking or order and invite them to message you. |
| Updates the review after you fix it | Thank them in the DM. Do not make a fuss in public. |
| Becomes abusive or threatening | Stop replying, keep a record, and use the platform's reporting tools. |
Sum up and next step
Reply to the DM first and fix the problem there. Post a short, calm public reply the same day that says you are in touch. Keep personal details private, never trade a refund for a deleted review, and keep your AI agent out of the conversation once a complaint appears.
With Spaces, your AI agent can send the holding reply on your own Instagram, WhatsApp or Messenger account and hand the chat straight to you, so an upset customer hears back within seconds and then hears from a person.
Pricing
FAQ
Should I reply to the review or the DM first?
The DM, because that is where you can solve the problem. Post the public reply soon after, ideally the same day, saying you have been in touch privately.
Can I ask the customer to remove the review?
You can mention that they are welcome to update it once things are put right, with no pressure. Do not make a refund or discount depend on it. Many review sites do not allow that, and it can damage trust if it becomes known.
What if the review is unfair or untrue?
Reply calmly and stick to facts, such as "we cannot find a booking on that date". Invite them to message you. If a review breaks the site's rules, use the site's own reporting tools.
Should my AI agent reply to angry customers?
Only with a short holding message that says a person will reply. After that, hand the chat to a person. Automated replies to upset customers tend to make things worse.
How long should the public reply be?
Two or three sentences is usually enough. Thank them, say sorry for their experience and say you have been in touch. Future customers mostly want to see that you responded calmly.
Can Spaces reply to reviews on Google?
No. Spaces connects your messaging accounts, such as WhatsApp, Instagram, Messenger and email. You reply to reviews yourself on the site where they were posted.
What if the customer keeps messaging after the problem is solved?
Answer politely and briefly. If they raise something new, deal with it. If they repeat the same complaint after you have fixed it, thank them, restate what you did and leave it there.